If you have been to Europe and not been to the Red light
district in Amsterdam, then you haven't been to Europe! So they say! That was
how I went to Paris and didn't die.... Why do they keep saying "See Paris
and die" Sef. No doubt a beautiful city and my first trip out of Africa!
OK back to Amsterdam the tourist destination for all who love (emmm.../clears
throat.) The Olosho capital of the world! (I hear Italy is more notorious but I
stand to be corrected ). So my curious self and my mischievous partner in
crime, Amaraidika Orji along
with our amiable host James Oket powered
by my wonderful Nowergian Nigerian friend and brother Mike Jatto decided
to see the famous Amsterdam Red Light District! So we took the long and winding
road after crossing river "Holland" (can't remember the name of that
river) . straight to the red light district with eagerness and excitement plus
curiosity. (That kind of one that kills the cat!) Well, We endured the trek....
Hollandians i.e Dutch are so organised.... Everything in order, you have to
park your car, take the beautiful boat/Ferry across the river after securing a
parking space and then trek to the red light district. (No partiality)...
Nothing prepared me for what I saw! Beautiful ladies, lovely shaped, nice complexion,
Caucasians, Asians, etc....a few priviledged Africans who made it into the show
glass. Yes ladies were displaying their gifts bestowed on them by nature/ good
genes in bikini and other sexy and attractive pant and bra in show glasses that
was the window to rooms were men have a taste of their 'heavens'. My mouth
agape, as I watched these ladies " sell their market".. Of course the
queue was long. It was like the narrow path that leads to heaven..(according to
what the bible says o)..we snuggled our way through streets upon streets...
Watching beautiful ladies... On the walls of the streets is written "NO
F....KING PHOTOS ALLOWED HERE" and God save u if you are sighted with a
camera, trying for a shot. (The prison and deportation wey dey wait for u dey for
waiting room). Policemen were well positioned in strategic and conspicuous
corners protecting these ladies of the nights practicing the oldest profession
in the world! As we wove our way through, streets upon streets, corners upon
corners.... Almost like 10 hectres of land... I admired and questioned why such
beautiful ladies would choose such a "career' and how bold and confident
they looked. As we moved, one of the pleasure seekers, stopped by a window...OK
let me describe this window which is also a door and a show glass! Advert
window! When you identify your choice (the lady that interests you) you stop by
the window and beckon or knock on the glass....which leads to a room. I could
see the rooms from the show glass. In most of the rooms were the necessary
necessities but some were more luxurious than the others. You would see: a well
laid bed, a wash section and the right lights to go with the mood. All the
needed materials for a 'quickie'! So I overheard one young man bargaining for a
BJ (if you no sabi, na you sabi. No be me go teach you everything jare).
Anyway, a BJ (Blow Job), according to the beautiful damsel in the Show glass,
costs just 40 euros.!!..40 euros is not too much for one to (clears throat) cum
na...Any way, Bobo/customer was still pricing the BJ. (Some men will price
anything... Shior! Ijebu man!) At the end, say 30 seconds, they reached a
compromise and the door opened... ( I followed the guy with my eyes...I almost
physically carried my body with him inside...but the next potential customers
were nudging me to move faster or give way. So I moved. My inquisitive mind was
not satisfied... I kept asking questions (you know I am a journalist, right?
Asking questions is what I do)... I was told that for the guy who just secured
his BJ agreement... Of course he could renegotiate the contract to accommodate
the real deal. I. E sex!.which depending on the prostitute would cost at least
80 euros. The younger the lady, the more expensive...heard .carribeans were in
hot demand... Not too many Africans get the pass, to be in the show glass( many
of them no get paper.) I was told these ladies were so good...that for a
BJ..before you say.. "Ammarggedon"... It is all over. This means that
.Mr. Has arrived! So just imagine 10 BJs in 30 minutes..that's like 400
euros..in 30 Minutes!!!!!! Exchange that for the Naira in this Buhari times and
you'd understand..that's about 172,000 naira... In 30 minutes ...okay, I am
thinking in Naira... But that is a Deputy director's monthly salary in the
Civil service! The Red light district in Amsterdam caters for every sexual need
or leaning...Down the road, in another corner... Was the blue light district...
Here were the givers and recievers of homosexual services ..... I wasn't really
interested in seeing so much of this...but as we stood there in our
"blackness" ... One oyibo brother decided that I was the one he was
interested in (upon all the beautiful women in the bottle , sorry show glass)
and started toasting me in "hollandis" language.. That was when I
knew we had overstayed our welcome.... And so we decided to leave. But I was
not still 'okay' o. I wanted to see more .. Thanks to my host who continued to
steer my interest... He said there was a nudist club somewhere.. He he... Oya
hanlele, let's go dia! (Lol). So we trekked back the way we came, took our
lovely ferry, back to where our car was parked, and headed for the nudist club
(ehn! Judgemental Nigerians...I was doing my job of investigative journalism ni
o).. When we got to the nudist club... Our guy was asked to pay 80 euros..
Ladies go in free! (We are the special guests of honour)... When you pay...you
get a pure white towel, go into the changing room, change into the towel...That
is the only mode of dressing allowed... No panties, no bra...(i know you are
wondering if i did?... Keep imagining) .. This nudist club also has a sauna and
swimming pool... You can go in with ur partner...and if you feel like em...I
mean if 'konji catch u...you can do IT right there in the full glare of
everyone and if you don't mind sharing.... You can share as generous people
heavily and sweetly rewarded in like manner. ....what the modern people call
swinging! Anyways, as we were still deliberating on accepting the White towel.
I saw one beautiful well shaped 'oyinbo woman walk towards me in all her
gloriousness. I mean naked! With two men following on her heels! Amaka my
friend had to help me close my mouth! I was still dazed when Amaka brought me
back to reality! Our host had finished negotiating/chatting with the cashier/receptionist...
We concluded, we won't allow him sacrifice his 80 euros for this enjoyment
while we go in free. It wasn't just fair. After all I am a believer in
"men and women are created equal..! I even begged Amara to help us wear
the towel and gist me later but she no giree! (She didnt agree). So we left
soddom and Gommorah back to the car we went....to some exotic Nigerian
restaurant to go eat correct, amala wey dey smoke with soup of big fish. (.you
know that kind of fish that won't allow soup see space to flex!) I thoroughly
enjoyed my meal ....with the sights I had just seen playing over and over again
in my mind!
Information
I got
Rape is
almost 0 . 1% in the Netherlands
Marijuana
is legal but crime is almost 0.0%
Many men
from Holland ain't very bold...they cannot 'toast' a lady, So, the red light
district help ease their sexual tension, frustration and ambition. It is also a
place for initiation and learning the art/act of sex.
The
Government of Netherlands contribute to ensuring that the Red light districts
function optimally.
It is a
revenue earner/a tourist haven of sort as tourist from all over the world troop
in there to satisfy their needs. Be it sexually, relaxation, sight seeing,
adventure or curiosity.
Many men
and women are happy in Netherlands... So no time for crime
The place
provides jobs and revenue for the prostitutes and their manager and the country
in the form of tax!
The govt.
Is also able to control diseases and crime!
All the
prostitutes are registered and traceable...
Lessons I
learnt.
Hmm.. It
is good to go out o!
Marijuana
is illegal in Nigeria but people still smoke and buy Crime is on the high side
Prostitution
is illegal but men and women still sneak out to patronise prostitutes
What this
means is that they can't access good health need and attention... So HIVs and
STDs can spread unchecked and rapidly....( As our men no wan kuku hear word! )
Police
can't police our red light zones...do we even have them? I know there is the
famous Allen Avenue .and girls lined up on the streets of Isaac john etc... And
some hotels offering covert sex services.
What this
means is that diseases go unchecked and can become viral...a good recipe and
avenue for contacting and contracting HIVs and STDs.
And since
people with the above are shamed and stigmatised... The chain of spread goes
unabated
Biggest
lesson
so much
hypocrisy in Africa...we are all holy! But we are wicked to ourselves
We
pretend like these things don't exist but they do and we will continue to ignore
But practice and patronise them for many years to come.
I am
still drawing lessons ....some negative, some positives...
Please
feel free to share but don't plagiarise!
Thank
you! Make I come dey go!
Titi
Olademehin
